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| motherhood: view from above. |
5:50 Atley wakes, nurses, I try to stay asleep.
6:05 Atley is slapping and scratching and grabbing my face because he's ready to play, I try to sleep
6:10 I give up, change his diaper.
Wren wakes up, cranky, and I know its a "show" morning. Change her, get her dressed.
put on a show for the kids to watch while I make squash waffles, coffee, and eat three oatmeal cookies secretly.
Wren goes pee in the potty, gets an M&M reward.
Wren's breakfast plated, she goes poop, gets two M&Ms.
Wren is eating, I get my waffle all ready, coffee poured.
Atley begins to freak out--always timed perfectly for when I'm ready to eat.
Atley has pooped and is tired. Change his diaper again--a long and exasperating process with only 1.5 hands (due to wrist breakage weeks prior).
Atley goes down for a nap, now that he's gotten everyone up by 6, he's bushed by 7:20.
Back to my waffle and coffee which is now verging on room temperature.
I realize this is my only chance to take a shower, so I wolf down breakfast and place my coffee in the bathroom, so that we can at least be together.
Leave bathroom door open so Wren can use the potty if need be. (Close the blinds in the living room so all of south 15th can't see me in my birthday suit.)
Get lathered.
Wren goes poop again, and its a big one
Try to finish up a half-started shower while continuously requesting the poopy toddler stays in the bathroom with me, does not touch her bottom, waits for her M&M reward, does not sit down. Does not move my towel, waits for her M&M, and does not climb on the toilet and waits for her M&M.
Still, wet, I discover there are no more wipes left in the bathroom stash and try to wipe toddler's bottom with the 2 squares of TP left.
Dry off more, run through house in towel to get M&M reward.
Begin to put on lotion, Wren 'helps' and we discuss private parts of our bodies and where they are located specifically.
Dump the dump in the little potty as it is stinking up my post-shower experience.
Begin to get dressed, smell poop still. Nearly hyperventilate trying to sniff out from whence it comes.
It is on Wren's foot/ankle and a little on the tush still, somehow.
Back into the bathroom for more wiping with no wipes, as they are in Atley's room where he is sleeping.
Hope there is no poop in our carpet or bed where she has been hanging out watching me dress and discussing boobies and the various means of dealing with them and what they are for.
Hear Atley already waking up from super early nap.
Quick snuggle with Wren who is incessantly requesting I sit with her--I'm half dressed, but better do it now before I need to nurse the baby soon.
Finish getting dressed, get the baby.
Wren starts crying because she didn't quite make it to the potty and had a little more poop (evidently she's making up for yesterday's poop hiatus).
Calm her down, explain accidents, encourage her attempts to use the potty.
Atley scoots into the bathroom--a no no, as the floor here is the most unsavory of all places in the house.
My hands have poop on them, but I have to drag him out of the bathroom and put him as far away as I can while pleading Wren to stay where she is.
Grab more wipes. I need more wipes.
Wipe the bottom
Wipe the potty
Drag Atley out of the bathroom again
wipe my hands
wipe her hands
drag Atley away from the fireplace
wipe bathroom floor
rinse out bathmat with poop on it
rinse out undies with poop in them
rinse out sweatshirt with poop on it
re-check toddler for poop in nether regions
drag Atley out of bathroom
Make a mental note to do laundry later
nurse the baby while reading books to the toddler and thinking about my cold and lonely cup of coffee next to the bathroom sink.
And now its 9:00, and I think; "Some people are just pulling into work right now." Isn't that nice.
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| Retrieving Atley from odd places could be someones full time job. |
